And my sarcastic take on the show after the jump...

How can a show with some of the world's biggest music stars and performers manage to suck so much? I demand some sort of explanation from people at MTV because the VMAs just keep on getting worse by the year.

First of all, as much as I love Miami (and find it sexy, hot, blah blah blah), it just does not have the same glamour of Radio City Music Hall in New York. Second, as much as I can appreciate Diddy, he is not funny and does not know how to step back and simply host a show without making it his own personal extravaganza (as much as I would like to have gotten a $50G watch from him too, that was just downright tacky and not appropriate). Next year please keep him in the audience handcuffed to his chair.

The sadness started on the red (or in this case white) carpet when I realized that J. Lo would not be attending, which meant that the fashion level would be down a notch or two. I wanted to see some real rocking outfits, and all I got was a leopard printed Gwen Stefani (who always looks hot anyway). I loved that Kanye West and John Legend looked so sharp and clean (and made everyone else look like they were not dressed properly). However, I would be firing a lot of stylists after that show... It was either people playing it safe (and this is not the Oscars) or showing up in t-shirts and sneakers.

Aside from a belly dance or two from Shakira, I was very disappointed with all the performances. I am not asking for anyone to vogue wearing big wigs, but I am certainly hinting MTV to avoid the pre-taped shows (of a band who would have probably put on the best live show last night) or Mariah Carey half-naked by the pool (without even an audience). I am not even going to get into what I though of the R. Kelly act. I can't wait until Britney has that baby or Madonna recovers because at least they know how to dance in tiny outfits (and that is what I call entertainment).

Finally, I have one piece of advice for MTV: hire whoever produced the BET Awards because that show made the VMAs look like a big joke (and propably featured the best performances I have seen in a very long time).

For more on the fiasco, check out Arjan's exclusive pics of the VMAs.